Meta-discussion on keeping topics here focused and amicable

[eyalroth]

@lihaoyi

What people think of you is entirely self-created: by the content of your posts, your choice of words, the attitude you show, and your actions. @eyalroth has certainly made an impression on people here; not everyone may speak up, but everyone observes.

This goes the same for you, and I believe you’re failing to acknowledge that. It really seem odd to me that you’re giving me this kind of feedback when you never bothered to correct me or help me understand how my arguments are wrong.

In fact, the first and only time you ever responded to me directly was on my first thread here. That thread wasn’t particularly long, and I remember the comments being quite polite and welcoming, even though many did not share my views; that is, except for your response, which was borderline insulting (“i don’t think anyone can help you lol”). I remember interpreting your response as a slightly more polite way of saying “well, that’s your problem. git gud”.

@lihaoyi

Lastly, when receiving feedback, the correct thing to do is to thank the person providing feedback, accept it, and think about how you can make use of it. That is all. Getting into arguments with those providing feedback is the absolute worst thing you can do; this is especially true if the feedback is that you are too argumentative!

You’re basically saying “you’re in the wrong, and since that wrong is that you argue too much, don’t bother trying to argue that you’re not wrong”. This is a tautological argument that further demonstrates how incapable you are of receiving feedback. I have acknowledged my wrongs in here and I will try working on them, but that doesn’t mean you’re not in the wrong either; again, communication goes both ways.

@lihaoyi

@jducoeur, @Ichoran, @odersky, and others are among the kindest, most patient people you will find in any online community. If these folks are telling you that you are doing something wrong, it’s worth a listen.

I don’t really like commenting on what I think about individuals in public, but since you brought these individuals up as support for your arguments, I’ll respond.

Being polite when mutual respect is already established and there’s a strong basis for agreement on various topics, is not really a brainer in my opinion. What I value more is being able to stay polite even when these are absent.

I think me and @jducoeur have a lot of disagreements and we often find each other overly argumentative and missing each others’ points, but that is no crime. I would never condemn him for this.

I believe that @odersky has over time found my arguments irrelevant and stopped responding to them (that is mostly apparent to me in the discussions regarding implicits). That is unfortunate for me, especially considering that I highly value his opinion and intellect, and since he is one of the core contributes of this language. But that is no crime, and there’s no reason for me to condemn him for this.

Given that I would not consider condemning them in public, especially not in a case in which they have been targeted by behavior that violates the CoC, I find it a bit offensive that they do not share this same ethical code as I do.

I’m not sure why you brought @Ichoran into your argument. I don’t see him supporting your arguments (at least not publicly). I find him behaving in an extremely welcoming manner, being mostly open for interesting discussions, and able to remain fairly patient with my argumentative tone (which I acknowledge as my fault).